


The Last Confession of Darcy Lewis

by leftennant



Series: Darcyland April Fools Smut Challenge Fics [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Wintershock - Fandom
Genre: Confession, Crack, F/M, I'm Going to Hell, I'm not kidding, Mistaken Identity, Priest Roleplay, Priest!kink, Roleplay, So yeah, and i'm not even remotely sorry for it, dlafsmutchallenge, god the crack, hella smut, i'm a trashfire, making out in a church, no really, possible trigger warning for overheard confession, priest!bucky, so much crack, this is absolute trash, this is basically all crack and smut and bucky in a priest costume getting busy with darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:50:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/pseuds/leftennant
Summary: In which a case of mistaken identity in a church confessional leads to some pretty revealing facts for Bucky Barnes and Darcy Lewis.  Smut ensues.  With a clerical collar.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You guys. I don't even know. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW YOU GUYS. When I got this prompt for the dlafsmutchallenge, I was all ready to do something cute and cracky. Like...I dunno, Darcy thinking she was calling Wade to tell him about her undying crush on Bucky, and dialing Bucky instead. Somehow it turned into almost four thousand words of Priest!Kink, with Bucky Barnes wearing a clerical collar. I have no excuse for this. None. Nor will I apologize for it.
> 
> Now, I need to say this, because...reasons. I was raised in a family where half was Catholic and half was not. This made for some very interesting/sporadic church attendance. I have not been to an actual mass, or inside a Catholic church, in a very, very long time. (like...since I was in elementary school) So, I attended the Google Refresher Course on Everything Roman Catholic to brush up on things. It is very, very likely that there are glaring inaccuracies, and I am going to humbly ask you to squint and ignore them. They are not important to the story, trust me. I really just wanted to write some filthy Priest!Kink on a lovely Palm Sunday morning. On that note, I'm gonna let you get to it. YAY!
> 
> Beta'd by amidtheflowers. She is awesome, and I love her forever.
> 
> ****************************************************

Darcy stood outside on the church steps, working her courage up. It had been way too long since she’d gone to confession. Months too long, in fact, and boy oh boy did she have _a lot_ to confess. Which is why she’d decided to skip Saint Jude’s, and go to Saint Ursula’s over in Brooklyn where Steve and Bucky attended. It was a hike from the tower, but the last thing she needed was someone that knew her to overhear her confession. She wasn’t even sure she wanted _God_ to hear it. 

For the third time in ten minutes, Darcy considered becoming protestant. Methodists seemed nice. She could try that. 

“Yeah, and Mom could also murder you in cold blood when she finds out,” Darcy muttered.

Death by embarrassment seemed less painful than death by wooden spoon wielded in the hand of her angry, devout Catholic mother. At least, marginally less painful...probably, so Darcy took a deep breath and passed through the ornate wooden doors. 

The interior was peaceful and still. She dipped her fingers in the holy water, making a hasty sign of the cross, and made a beeline for the confessional. It was different from the one she was used to, more curtains, less doors, and she wasn’t sure which one was meant for parishioners. However, Darcy was certain that if she peeked around the curtain and saw a priest, that would be a pretty good indicator.

 _Let’s see what’s behind curtain number one_ she said to herself, gingerly shifting the velvet fabric just enough to glance behind it. Bingo! No priest. She was in like Flynn. With a sigh of relief, she seated herself on the wooden bench inside, and got ready to confess.

******************************************************************

On the other side of the wooden screen, Bucky Barnes also sat ready to confess. He heard the swish of the curtain, and the sound of someone sitting down inside. Just as he was about to open his mouth and start, a female voice came through the small openings in the screen.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been…” There was a very long pause, and then the voice continued. “...a _really_ long time since I confessed. Too long. God. Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take God’s name in vain, and then swear like a sailor. Not that all sailors swear. I'm sure some don't. You know what? Would it be possible for us to just start over? I absolutely promise there will be no further swearing.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped. He knew that voice. It was the same one that had filled his apartment just yesterday, when Darcy Lewis had come by for their weekly movie night. Movie night was a ritual that she’d initiated a few months earlier, and Bucky looked forward to them more than he was able to admit. Mostly because his feelings had quickly shifted from friendly to something far more involved, despite being sure she didn’t feel the same. 

“Hello?” Darcy asked. “Father are you there?”

“Uh…” Bucky glanced through the screen in a panic. "I am, but..."

What should he do? He should explain that he wasn't the priest. Definitely. She wasn’t looking at him. In fact, she seemed to be looking anywhere _but_ at the wooden screen separating them. Before he could explain to her that he wasn’t the priest, she spoke again.

“Oh good. You are there. Okay, listen. I’m just gonna start, lay it all out there, and then you can tell me however many Hail Mary’s or whatever at the end. Because I feel like if I stop, I’ll lose my nerve. So. Here goes. I have been having...um...impure thoughts. Lots of them. Like, all the time.” Bucky tried again to say something, opened his mouth even, but didn’t even get a single word out before she said, “They’re about this guy. This friend of mine. And I think… I think I might be in love with him.”

Bucky sat up straighter inside the booth. What friend? Darcy was in _love_ with this guy? He realized she had paused for him to say something. This was wrong. He should just tell her the priest wasn’t in there, but he didn’t want to embarrass her.

Yeah. That was all it was. He didn’t want to embarrass her. It definitely wasn’t because he was dying to find out who this friend was.

“I see,” Bucky said, hoping she wouldn’t recognize his voice. “Go on, my...uh...my child. Tell me about this friend.”

He could hear her inhale deeply, like she was steeling her nerves. She still wasn’t looking at the screen, thank God for that. 

“He’s a good guy,” Darcy said. “And he’s gorgeous, and I just… We’re friends. I know that. Just friends. We’ve got this good thing going where we watch movies together, and he’s never once tried anything, but when we’re together I can’t help but think about what it would be like for us to be _together_ together, you get what I’m saying?”

Oh he got it, all right. He also got that he was probably going to go hell for this. Impersonating a priest in order to listen to the girl you were sweet on confess how she felt about you had to be a cardinal sin, even if he’d never remembered hearing it in catechism class. Bucky needed to put a stop to it, but...

“Have you considered telling this friend how you feel?” he asked. “You never know, he might feel the same way.”

Darcy seemed startled, finally looking over at the screen. “Wow. Is this a new thing? Because I’ve never had a priest actually encourage me to act on my impure thoughts before. You are _really_ progressive in this parish. Maybe I ought to make a switch.” 

Bucky had pulled back further into the shadows the moment he saw her glance his way. “No, don’t do that. I’m uh, I’m only here temporarily.”

“What are you like filling in for the regular guy?” she asked.

“Something like that,” he replied, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that if he hadn’t been going to hell before, he was now.

“Well that’s too bad, because you are really cool. You kind of sound familiar too. Must be why you’re so easy to talk to,” Darcy said. A mantra began in Bucky’s head that went something like _I’m going to hell, I’m going to hell, I’m going to…_ “So you think I should tell him that I want to get in his tac gear?”

She wanted to get in his tac gear? Jesus. Bucky glanced down at his tac gear, which he was wearing because he’d hit confession directly after training, and wondered just what ring of hell it would be. Especially since her confession was starting to turn him on. That had to put him in one of the hotter ones. Demons with pitchforks and everything. “You just did tell him,” he said under his breath. 

“Sorry? I didn’t catch that.”

“I said, yes, you should tell him.”

“You’re a really nice priest, Father,” she said. “I hope you make bishop someday.”

Shame washed over Bucky, and he cringed inside the booth. What he was doing was unthinkable, a massive betrayal of trust. She didn’t deserve it. “I… Are you sure he’s worth it? Maybe he’s not,” he said to her.

“He absolutely is, Father. Trust me. He’s been through some seriously hard stuff, and worked through it to get where he is today. He’s amazing. Funny, sweet, kind, and with a smile that just makes me want to climb him like a tree when he turns on the charm. So yeah, Bucky. You’re worth it.”

He froze, eyes going wide as they met hers through the screen. “You knew?”

“Are you kidding me? I knew the second I heard your voice, and for real dude, you are gonna be saying all the Our Father’s if the real priest finds out you impersonated him. I don’t even want to know how many.”

“I don’t either, to be honest,” he replied and she snorted.

“So, your advice kind of made me think that all my one-sided pining hasn’t been one-sided. Am I right in thinking that?”

“Doll, I’ve wanted you since the first time Thor introduced us. I just didn’t think you’d be interested in me.” Bucky shook his head. “Not with everything I’ve done. I was happy just to be friends with you. It was at least something.”

“You know, for a guy who is trained in noticing minute details, you sure suck at reading my signals,” Darcy told him. “I mean, have you not noticed that I’ve been wearing skimpier and skimpier stuff to movie night? I was practically in my underwear last night.”

“Oh I noticed alright. I just didn’t think it was for me.”

“Who did you think it was for? The couch? The popcorn? The cast of Sharknado?” she asked incredulously. “Bucky Barnes, get your ass out of this confessional right now, and I’ll show you who it was for.”

There was a flash of light through the screen, another swish of fabric, and he was faced with an empty booth. Sheepishly, Bucky exited his own booth to find Darcy standing just outside, arms folded over her chest.

“You have been a very bad boy, pretending to be a priest,” she said to him. “And if it hadn’t given me the perfect opportunity to figure out whether you were into me or not, I’d be kicking your ass right now, but as it is I have been waiting a really long time to do what I’m about to do, and I’m not waiting anymore.”

She moved then, stepping up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Bucky was still slightly in shock as her lips pressed to his. That only lasted a moment, though, and then he was kissing her back like his life depended on it. Every pent up bit of frustration he’d stored deep inside over the past few months rushed to the surface. It seemed like Darcy was feeling the same, her body pressed so tightly to his, he wasn’t sure where he ended she began. It had just begun to dawn on Bucky that maybe church wasn’t the best place for doing what they were doing, when the loud sound of a throat clearing had them jumping apart.

“Shit,” Darcy said, staring at the parish priest, who was staring back at them with a look of supreme disapproval. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Father Alistair,” Bucky began, “we were just…”

“Yes I saw what you were ‘just’ Mr. Barnes. Perhaps you and your lady friend would be so kind as to take it elsewhere. This is house of God, not the backseat of a car.”

Bucky went hot all over. No matter how old he got, being chastised by a priest still turned him into a stuttering teenager, getting caught drinking the communion wine. “Yes, Father. Thank you, Father. We were just leaving.”

And they did, Darcy clinging to his arm until they got outside the doors. Then she collapsed against him, shaking with laughter. “Oh my _God_. Caught by the priest! We are totally going to hell for that.”

“At least I won’t be alone,” he said. “After what I just did in there, I was sure I’d bought my ticket.”

“What? Impersonating a priest? Let me tell you something, if you’re going to hell for that, then I am definitely going there too, because I kind of found it hot, Father James.”

He grinned at her. “Father James, huh?”

“Yep. I don’t suppose you’d ever consider getting a clerical collar? Not because I’d be into that or anything. At. All. It would purely be for scientific research purposes.”

“Oh well, if it’s for science,” he replied. “I might consider it.”

She looked him up and down, eyes lingering on his lips. “Neat.”

Yeah. Neat. Bucky thought so too.

**************************A Few Weeks Later************************************

“Bless me, Father, for I have totally, totally sinned. Sins all over the place, in fact.” Darcy walked her fingers up the front of Bucky’s black shirt, letting them trace over the white clerical collar around his neck.

“Have you, my child?” he responded huskily, and she could tell that he was just as into this as she was. “Confess your sins and be forgiven.”

“Oh I don’t know if I can be forgiven, Father,” she purred. “I’ve been a very naughty girl. So many sins...lustful ones, even.” She used her other hand to cup him through his black dress pants, and Bucky swallowed hard.

“Every uh...lamb...goes astray sometimes, my child.”

Darcy gave him a little squeeze through the fabric. “But, Father, if you only knew. I’ve been having impure thoughts about a man of God, and I’ve been having them _all the time_.”

“I see.” His gaze washed over her, hot and wanting. “Tell me these thoughts.”

“Well, you see, whenever I’m around him, all I want to do is get my hands on him. Just. Like. This.” Her fingers caught hold of his zipper, pulling it down, and then her hand slipped inside to wrap around him. She worked the cotton of his boxers over his cock in a slow stroke. “But you see, Father, that’s not all.”

“What else?” he asked.

“I want to get on my knees, and wrap my lips around him. Like this.”

Darcy dropped to the floor in front of him, and freed him from his boxers, taking him in her mouth. Bucky made a low sound deep in his chest, eyes closing as she began to lick and suck. 

“I… I see. This is serious indeed. We’ll have to consider a penance that fits the sin.”

“Right? Like I said, I’ve been a really bad girl.” She swirled her tongue around the head of his dick, and could hear the plates shifting in his left hand as the fingers flexed and curled into a fist. 

“Maybe I like bad girls, doll,” Bucky said, and Darcy paused, pulling back to look at him.

“That seems like a strange thing for a _priest_ to say, Father James.”

“Oh, I… Sorry. You’re just driving me so damn crazy right now, Darce, I forgot for a second. Give me a minute here.”

She sat back on her heels, waiting while he composed himself. After a few seconds she asked, “You good?”

“You asking a man of the cloth if he’s good?” Bucky teased. 

“Considering this man of the cloth is currently getting a blow job from one of his flock, yes. I am.”

“I’m swell, believe me. Although I just thought of a way you could do your penance.”

“Here I thought I was already doing it,” she replied with a wink. “I mean, I’m on my knees and everything, but far be it from me to argue with a priest. What have you got in mind, Father?”

“I was thinking maybe you could sit in my lap, and I could teach you a few lessons on how to be a good girl. How’s that?”

“Color me ready to learn, Your Eminence” she said.

“I’m a Cardinal now?” he asked, smirking at her. “When did that happen?”

“You were just promoted,” Darcy told him. “Now, I think you had a plan for my penance, wanna get on that?”

If the way that he tugged her to her feet and over to the nearest chair was any indication, Bucky did. Moments later she was straddling his lap, and he was slipping his hand under her dress to touch the slick, hot flesh between her thighs.

“Jesus H. Christ,” Bucky said in something like awe. “How long have you been this wet?”

“Since you put the collar on,” she replied. “You know what it does to me.”

“You really are a bad girl.” 

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ bad girl, and you love it. Bucky?”

“Hmm?” He’d been staring intently at where she was grinding against his hand beneath her dress.

“I’m ready to do that penance now. For real. I don't think I could be any readier.”

“Me neither, doll. Me neither.”

His fingers disappeared, leaving her empty and wanting for a brief moment. Then something so much better replaced them. Her lips parted, breath coming quick as Bucky thrust up inside her. 

“Yeah, _God_. That feels so fucking, fuuuuucking good.” Darcy’s grip tightened where her hands were braced on his shoulders, and she began to rock up and down, a tight counterpoint to his thrusts.

“More?” Bucky wrapped an arm around her waist, waiting for her nod of approval before he used it as leverage to stroke up into her harder. 

They moved together, finding a rhythm that they’d discovered that very first time after the botched confession. It was right on the cusp of too rough, and Darcy couldn’t get enough of the way it seemed like she could feel every inch of him while they fucked. She didn’t know what was better, the desperate way he made her feel each time he thrust in and out, or how her legs were spread over his, almost to the point of aching, but such a goddamn _good_ kind of hurt. 

Darcy could feel her release starting to coil, hot and tight where her clit kept brushing the base of his cock. There was no way she could hold out for much longer. Neither of them usually lasted long when they got this wound up. Bucky was already getting a glazed look in his eyes, lips parted, and breathing harsh. If she just held out a little longer, fought it a few more seconds…

“Darcy,” he gasped, fingers biting into her hips. “Darce, I’m gonna…”

“Me too,” she said. “It’s okay. I’m right there with you.”

Bucky gave a quick nod, teeth scoring his bottom lip, and eyes fixed on hers. There was a moment, a second where they were both suspended and waiting, and then Darcy let go. Sensation ran through her like an electric current, white-hot and consuming. She would have given him access to anything in that moment. Any thought, any secret, any single part of her that he wanted, would have been his for the taking. 

And when they were both coming down, when Bucky’s forehead was pressed to hers, and she could feel his warm breath on her lips, Darcy wondered if he felt the same.

“I love you,” he said hoarsely, and the air stuttered in her lungs at the confession. “I thought maybe I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe you weren’t ready to hear it, but I can’t hide it anymore. It’s not like we don't know each other. We were friends first, and to be honest, I loved you then. And when you said that thing in the church, about how you thought you might be in love with me… I have to know. Is that how you really feel?”

It took her a moment to respond, and when she did, it was really hard to keep the laughter out of her voice. “Yes. I really feel that way. Also? Did you seriously just decide to tell me you love me while you’re still balls deep during a kinky priest roleplay?”

“I might have,” Bucky said, lips ticking up into a lopsided grin. “Possibly.”

Darcy rolled her hips, proving the whole balls deep point, and then said, “There is no possibly about it, Father James. Believe me. I would know.”

“If it would help, I can say it again when we’re not, uh…” Bucky cleared his throat. “Doing the kinky priest thing.”

“I’m definitely down with that,” she replied. “Not that this wasn’t memorable, but oh my God, Bucky, what if our grandchildren decide to ask how you told me you loved me someday? What will we say?”

“That’s easy,” he said. “We’ll just tell them I told you over pizza or something.”

“Pizza? Really?”

“Or Chinese. Would you rather it was Chinese?”

“This is an actual conversation that I am having in my actual life,” Darcy said, more to herself than to him. “Yeah, pizza is fine. You said it over pizza. Aaaaand, now I’m hungry. Want to um, disengage, and then find the takeout menu for Pino’s?”

Thirty minutes later they were tucked up on the couch, pizza open and steaming on the coffee table in front of them. Bucky got them each a piece, handing Darcy hers first, and then said, “I love you, doll. Have for a very long time. And now I’m telling you over pizza, which is what we’ll tell our nosy grandkids.”

“I love you too, Father James,” Darcy replied, smile overtaking her face. “I love you too.”


End file.
